Autism origins?

I was thinking recently that the reasons autism has so many different facets that can be studied is that it needs to be triggered in the brain by an external force. There are lots of people who seem autistic but are not diagnosed. We all have different neurology but only some get problems during there lifetime. I think a certain type of brain is more prone to autism but without the environmental factors present it doesn’t develop into that.

I think childhood isolation in terms of living in remote communities or having a very insular family helps autism to develop sooner. Low emotional intelligence in your immediate environment means less social skills, less communication skills and therefore your forced to develop your intelligence in order to have something to do. This develops the ego and the arrogance that comes with a pure focus on your own development. The older you get, the less flexible you become and your habits become more and more ingrained until that is all you are, a series of fixed routines.

Autism can’t be detected at birth but as soon as there personality starts to develop and they can communicate it can be tested for. A lot of children are found in early childhood but those that have more subtle forms like myself take longer to be discovered. This constant seeking a solution to why your child is different creates problems in the child as they don’t think there is anything is wrong with them until they have internalised your issues. Then you have a much bigger problem on your hands as they believe what you are constantly telling them.

I was also thinking that when your parent(s) has a problem that becomes part of who you are without you realising that. That is not you and your personality but because you were exposed to it so much as a child you absorbed it unconsciously. This is even worse when it’s an undiagnosed condition as you can’t even start to undo it without some serious introversion. When you do this anyway, you start overthinking as you have entered a Labyrinth that is very tricky to get out. Perseus needed a ball of string to defeat the Minotaur and in Inception it was the silver spinning top.

Also, I was thinking that can be possible for many different diseases that people pick up along the way. They have the genes that cause complications like my husband having leukaemia but without the event that caused that defect to turn on it was just there.

As you can tell I had a lot of ideas swirling around my brain today that have only just coalesced into shape. It’s so hot right now that I can’t think during the day. It’s good for being at peace with yourself but not so good as issues can’t be addressed they just get submerged until it’s cooler then they re-emerge.

Language problem solved

I finally figured out why I can’t speak – preciseness of language. I had this drummed into me as a kid. I lived on a farm as a child so had very little contact with people. When for the first couple of years all you speak to are your parents, occasional fishermen, perhaps the vet and your grandparents if they come to visit then of course you can’t speak properly. You don’t have enough practice with forming your words as you don’t even have a sibling to practice with as your the eldest. This is why you try to compensate when your brother turns up and has the same problem. You have already been through the same problem and your trying to rectifying it but your making him codependent on you as he isn’t old enough to talk yet and you are.

In order to speak correctly you need to be able to make mistakes. As a child you need to learn all the different sounds of your language in order to know which are the correct ones. If your not allowed this trial and error process then you stop speaking. Your linguistic and therefore social development is hampered by your parents whose own issues are preventing you from being all that you can be. They are creating major problems for you and themselves by expecting you to be a fully formed adult in terms of communication before that is possible.

I figured this out finally at dinner last night as I was trying to order a lamb chop but the Greek words are no longer on the menu to refresh my memory. I thought it was arnaki as it sounds like little lamb to me based on the words for little and lamb. It’s similar but it’s actually paidaikia. This is one of those many words that are confusing because if you get the stress wrong you order little children paidi akia instead of lamb chops pai diakia. I was also contemplating the fact that his children might be coming to visit us soon so I can’t get away with speaking English as there too young to know any at 6 and 3 I think but I’m not sure as I haven’t meant them yet.

These mini crisis are important as they show up the problems that were created in your childhood that you are no longer aware of as it was so long ago. I was first alerted to this when my husband’s best friend changed partners and started bringing round their children. I had previously avoided all children like the plague because they made me uncomfortable. They reminded me of my own inability to have them. They also represented change which I can’t handle unless I’m in a relaxed, open frame of mind.